This past weekend I had the opportunity to do a couple of things that I don’t normally get to do. I was able to dine with Friend, and Food Writer, Al Mancini on one of his jaunts and I got to go to an all-girl party. As I have written before, dining with a Food Writer is MUCH different than dining with my adoring husband. While both are phenomenal, the perks of dining with friend Al are above what I am accustomed to receiving and for those perks alone, the meal is vastly different. The FOOD is not per se, but having everyone pay special attention to you is an added bonus.
So, on Friday, as per usual, I joined my Posse for Happy Hour at our regular place, dropped off snacks for an all-female get together, and then had dinner with Al at Fleur in Mandalay Bay. The meal was fantastic and we had a good time (see the pics below). After having stimulating conversation over food and wine with Al, I returned to the all-female gathering and proceeded to settle in for a good time. My host had told the gals that I dropped off a snack, had to leave and would be back after dinner. Because she told them where I was going and who I was with, several of the women wanted to hear about the food so I happily gushed and dished. There were all types of eaters there, several of whom I did not know, from Vegan to Omnivore and everything in between.
After talking about the meal, I went outside on the patio to smoke (don’t judge) and one of the women I did not know joined me and proceeded to verbally attack me about my food choices with the following comments among others:
- The food in those high end places is not worth what you pay
- When you eat there you are paying for someone’s ego
- It’s overpriced
- You aren’t getting what you think you are getting
Then 2 young vegetarians joined the discussion and started talking about food choices. I informed them, that having grown up on a farm, and having worked in a butcher shop, I am perfectly aware of where my food comes from and I am at the top of the food chain and I will eat what I please. I won’t even get into my half of the conversation defending fine dining.
The following day I read an article about “Slut Shaming” and I thought to myself, “Dammit! Those women were trying to ‘Food Shame’ me!” Holy bat shit, Batman! They were trying to make me feel guilty and ashamed for enjoying foie gras (Moment of Truth – I bear a simmering dislike for California for banning foie gras – but it doesn’t stop me from going there to visit). They were attempting to make my enjoyment and love of food a shameful thing. I was even called, and I quote, “crazy”, because I make my own bacon, sausage and pancetta (usually I am called a bad ass). Needless to say, their attempt at shaming me didn’t work because I am quite comfortable with my thoughts, feelings and opinions on food. But what if I was weaker? Oddly enough I didn’t even get worked up about it until I read the “Slut Shaming” article and put 2 and 2 together.
Then I REALLY got to thinking…do I unintentionally “food shame” others? Perhaps. I have been known to encourage people to NOT eat in chains like Applebee’s, Olive Garden, Outback and Chili’s in favor of supporting Mom & Pop or locally owned places. I have been known to tell people I won’t eat in Chick Fil A because of their stance on gay marriage (same goes for Carl’s Jr.). In an effort to get people really LOOKING at their seafood options I have told them not to eat Chilean Sea Bass because it is being over fished to the point of near endangerment (source – Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Seafood Watch). I always felt like I was educating people, sharing info I had learned, or sharing my feelings. Now that I take a closer look, I realize that perhaps I was inadvertently “food shaming” people. So I formally apologize if I have done this to you!
This brings up a variety of thoughts. Let’s face facts, most of us have strong feelings and/or opinions about our food, what we eat, where our food comes from, how we spend our food dollars and how we cook. But when sharing those thoughts, where does SHARING end and SHAMING begin? I know I, for one, will be taking a much closer look at what I say, to whom and in what context.
Here are the pics of the fab food from Fleur:
Kusshi Oyster with Citrus Granita – served on a bed of glass beads over dry ice. Liquid was poured on the beads and the smoking visual ensued
Ceviche Style Tuna Tartare
Truffled Beef Carpaccio with Arugula and shaved parmesan
Seared Hudson Valley Foie Gras, cherry clafoutis and blackberry sorbet
Roasted Diver Scallop with tender Mexican Squash and Tomato Water – my fave dish of the night!
Potato Crusted Loup de Mere with cauliflower mousse and grilled grape beurre blanc. Don’t you just love the way they laid out the sliced fingerling potatoes to look like fish scales?
Strawberry Shortcake
Assorted Desserts
